.:shy:.

little shadows

after reading my friend's post about how one of her twins followed her into the powder room when she went to quickly wash her hands and had accidentally left the toddler inside the powder room - she didn't know she had a little follower - with the door closed (found quickly by her husband, though), i'm reminded of a similar situation.

it wasn't with chaeli, but with hobbes.

when we first adopted him into our lives, he was very clingly. we couldn't walk anywhere in the house without him following directly behind us.

one day, i was rushing around the house doing choirs. doug was home and i just assumed that hobbes was with him as at one point, i realized i hadn't seen the little pup in awhile.

but to double check, i called down to doug, who was in the basement at the time, "hey - have you see hobbes? is he with you?"

expecting doug to say 'yes' i was a bit surprised when doug replied back, "no - i thought he was with you."

so we quickly went around the house calling and whistling for the little pup, all the while, wondering exactly what sort of trouble he's gotten himself into. then i heard doug laughing from the laundry room followed by, "found him!"

apparently, he had quickly followed me into that room. when i left, i had closed the door as i usually do, leaving poor, wee hobbes all alone. he might have whimpered but the washing machine droned out his sound.

oops.

anyway, this friday, hobbes turns one. my aunt wants to have a little family party for him which should be interesting. i remember we were made to stand around her dining table to sing happy birthday to their shihtzu who, sitting at the end of the table, just looked around the room all confused as if to say, "why the hell are they all staring at me and singing that god-awful song?"

i love hobbes. but i don't know if i want to sing to a dog. again.

ikea, scones and skype

we spent this saturday at ikea, purchasing a couple of TROFAST cabinets and wall shelves (with an assortment of different colour and sizes of bins) for chaeli's room.

the assembly and re-organizing (which included more sorting and chucking) took up a good chunk of the day. but it was worth it. with just one wall shelf to put up (which we've decided to leave empty and use as a book shelf instead), her room is pretty close to being organized. i've shown her where she can find all her toys (mainly one cabinet) and all her craft supply (one wall shelf and top bins of the other cabinet on the other side of her table). i know it's still wishful thinking that she'll keep it neat but so far, she seems to have no trouble putting things back where they belong. it helps that she can take the bins out completely on her own so that she can really see what's inside. and it's just a matter of putting the bin back inthe empty slot.

i recommend investing in this storage system if you're a parent. ikea is not the most high-quality type of furniture but lets face it - it will outlast the school age years.

sunday afternoon, we went over to di and rik's place for high tea with the rest of the posse. and i really do mean the whole posse! even though rita and harry are in the states, and ada and hoa are in vancouver, we made sure to skype them over.

on the way home, i said to doug that even though i know this is so not new, it definitely was an interesting situation - to have people there.. virtually at a party. it was a neat concept though, of course, i would have much rather have had them there in person but i suppose this was better then nothing!

anyway - doug baked some scones which were pretty much fresh out of the oven (we were late) and still warm when we got to the party.

here's the recipe.

a sort-of new year's resolution

so it's the other new year for me - the one that follows the moon and is symbolized by the cycle of animals.

 

this year, it is the sign of the rabbit. which i find very fitting.

 

it is the year that brings on patience because that is what the sign of the rabbit is strong for. which is exactly one of my weaker areas. i have less patience then the average person. but believe me, i've been fine-tuning this area for years and i'm finally starting to see a real difference from where i am now compared to a few years ago. i do, however, still need to exercise patience when it comes to parenting.

 

it is the year of peace - rabbits do not like arguing. they seek peace probably more then any other animal. i definitely want my year to be about peace. to continue finding that balance but strive for as much bliss as possible.

 

it is also the year of being good to others because that is what rabbits do best. they are seen as quite selfless, even though they will weigh the pros and cons of any situation before making a decision. but there reason for doing this isn't selfish. it's because they know that if the outcome is not good, it's best not to proceed. especially if in the end, there is not a win-win situation. well, i definitely want to continue doing things out of clarity and consciousness.

 

i supppose the above is somewhat like a new year's resolution - though as always, it's more a stamp on what i would like my path in life to be.

one more craving

yesterday, i listed off some current cravings. i would like to replace the entire list with one very big craving i am having right now...

to drop everything, get the next flight out to vienna and meet my friend who had been stuck in cairo. we would celebrate over some schnizels and very good beer.

how tempting it is...

dear friend - please come home soon...

after watching the news yesterday about the riots and violence in egypt, the first thing i did was get on the internet and start to email/twitter to a friend who is there now (long-term work project).

i knew even as i was typing that what i was doing wasn't exactly helpful. the egyptian government had already turned their 'off switch' on the country's internet. but it was a knee-jerk reaction. something i felt i needed to do. just in case.

i then emailed her sister (my best friend) to ask if they had any luck contacting her. thankfully, they did. over a very static-ridden connection - one landline her company had available for them to call home - my friend and her brother were able to get confirmation that their sister was safe and staying somewhere where they could continue being safe.

it's something, at least. small news over a bad connection - something that happens to be better then nothing.

so for the next while, all my prayers go out to her.

chaeli pre-holiday update

so it's that time of the year again. the pre-excitement of christmas has made my sweet, little darling into the the spawn of lucifer.

alright - that was definitely an exhaggeration. but if you compare some of chaeli's more recent behaviour to who she truely is - a very well natured and well behaved child, you can imagine how challenging it's been these past couple of weeks. and it's not that she doesn't try - i can tell that the pressure of being good, the extra sugar intake (not to mention the caffiene intake from all the chocolates), plus just the sheer excitement of christmas itself, has collectively funnelled together in her little body, causing her to basically act, well... possessed. for a lack of a better word.

oh... and speaking of being the little devil, my own offspring went to school the very next day after doug and i took that sample, canadian citizenship test to announce how i did.

from what i was told, the conversation started something like this:

chaeli: ms. kothari?

teacher: yes, chaeli?

chaeli: do you know what mommy and daddy did last night?

teacher: wait... chaeli, do i really want to know what goes on in the privacy of your home?

chaeli: mommy and daddy were taking a test - and mommy got a LOT wrong! daddy only got two wrong and mommy is usually always right.

teacher: test? what test? why were they taking a test at home? you must mean they were playing some sort of game.

chaeli: no. it was a test. i saw it. they had to pick a, b, c or d.

btw, that's how the conversation always goes with chaeli and her teacher. she learned to first ask if she really needed to know what we do at home after chaeli told her that hobbes likes to bark at GO trains and daddy barks with him and mommy doesn't like that, leaving the poor teacher to wonder why doug barks along with our pet dog to begin with. chaeli omitted to explain that sometimes doug likes to get hobbes going for sport; he gets close to hobbes and lets out a low 'woof' which is like an on-button that gets hobbes all worked up - OF COURSE I DON'T LIKE THAT!

anyway, i was pretty sad that neither doug nor i could attend chaeli's christmas show. this was just not a good year at all for me to take time off work and the show was in the middle of the afternoon. just in case, i asked chaeli what she would prefer - that i arrange to leave work early and go by myself or have both my parents go and video-tape the whole show. she was excited about the latter so it all worked out.

but here's the deal. the day before the show, she came home with a letter stating that if we wanted to, we could pack some make-up with a comb for the day of the concert.

i looked at doug and said, "make-up? do they know who they are asking this from?"

aside from eye-liner and eye-brow definer, all i have is a plethora of lipstick and lipgloss. i use to have eye shadow and blush but i threw them out years ago after never using them for a very long time (and was pretty sure they went stale). they couldn't have asked the least likely person to own enough make-up to lend to her daughter... had they had asked a week earlier, i'm sure my mother would have had somethng.

anyway, chaeli went with just red lipstsick and glittery lip glass, as well as some glittery hair gel from earlier that morning.

and i thought my baby-in-blue looked smashing!

baking frenzy almost nearing the end

this weekend will be the last weekend of baking in our household. and it won't be as crazy. all the really needed baking is now done, tinned and distributed out to their respectful recievers.

and so far, we're getting rave reviews!

chaeli's core teachers loved it - one already asked for the recipe of our nanaimo bars (with a twist). the rest of chaeli's will be getting their tins today.

my manager came in first thing this morning - him and his wife each had a piece of the 5 different types we gave them (i gave them six of each kinds plus a generous slab of christmas cake). he said they were amazing.

so this weekend, the baking is just so i can bring in a tray of peanut butter brownies and some more short bread. i'll leave it out in my work area on some empty tables and just let my department come by to help themselves.

i did buy some christmas cards on sale - but i'm not in the mood to do them this year. i think people prefer food, anyway. :)

too busy to be a geek

i've been trying to not complain so much about my daily grind. i did enough of that back in september when our lives were suddently dropped into two different universe at the same time - that being grade 1 and hobbes. both requiring a lot of attention and care.

and the reason why i've been trying hard not to complain so much is because while my days come with challenges, in the grand scheme of things, i can't complain.

i simply can not complain about the life that i lead because it is filled with wonderful family and great friends. i love the little things that catch me off guard, as well. from the smile of a toddler at starbucks a few days ago to the sound of the rain one late evening during that one hour between chaeli's lights-out and my own bedtime which lended a moment of tranquility.

or even the fact that i'm still doing it - still getting up at 5-something-am to do p90x and being able to feel how hard it's working my muscles. yes - even the soreness i'm feeling right now is giving me this understanding that because i can feel it, it symbolizes that i am here. in this world, no matter how small and insignificant, i am still participating in this on-going universe.

yet if i can just take the universe's time - a very small moment of time, really. i mean, if you were to really think about how old this universe is and how long it would take for it to just hear me out, it's just the smallest percentage of a fraction of it's time.

some things i have not had any time for...

1. shopping - aside from one pair of black pants, all other work clothes are still dependent on one single belt to hold them up.
2. playing 'the sims 2' - i got it as a christmas gift two years ago and have thus far only created one family... how sad is that?
3. take a bath - not that i don't cleanse myself. i shower daily. but i mean a nice, long, pampering bath. it's been awhile since i've been able to just sit there and soak the stress away.
4. read a book - it's been so long that my library card is about to expire.
5. get a massage.

i got one of those forward-emails yesterday where they asked a bunch of grade 2 kids questions about mothers. one question asked them what their mom does in her spare time.

the reply?

"mom doesn't have any spare time."

sad but true.

six months!

this past saturday marked hobbes' 6th month birthday.

six months! he was just a week away from three months when we first brought him home.

honestly, it still catches me off guard every now and then. i'll be walking into the kitchen just as he scoots off to the living room in the opposite direction - i'll turn around to watch him. and i'll think to myself, "wow - i can't believe i'm a dog owner. *I*... have a dog!"

it may not seem so crazy for people who have always had dogs in their lives. but for me, i was almost trained just to basically forget about ever getting my own dog. my parents were never open to it (even though my dad is a huge dog lover) and i soon realized just how much work is involved with raising a puppy and taking care of a dog.

within the first month, i wondered if it was a mistake.

now? i can't imagine our lives without hobbes. he's not immune to mischief, as any other puppy, but on the whole, he is a very cool dog. i've also found that he encourages us to go out more on weekends - and the beauty is that we do it as a family.

so... for his 1/2 year milestone, we treated him to a smoked, lamb leg - bought at the pet store.

happy 1/2 birthday, my furry friend. thank you for coming into our lives!

party, party, party

when my manager wished me a good weekend at the end of friday, he asked me what my plans were...

i didn't bother telling him that doug would be gone both days - he's currently, as we speak, practising scenerios in what they call a burn tower. basically, the building is lit on fire and they learn methods of estinguishing the flames. it's part of the practical portion of his course which he loves.

but i don't know why i didn't tell my manager - i suppose i was afraid it might turn out to seem like i'm venting/whining. which i'm not really. i'm happy for doug - but i would admit that i wish it were just one day because i do really love having him home. especially on sunday's.

anyway, so i said to my boss, "nothing much."

he replied, "that's good!"

"well, just one party. tomorrow night."

"parties... again. you guys always have some party going on."

"well, tame parties. like the ones that end no later then 10pm."

somewhat not always true - they can go late but i knew we would have to leave early on the account of doug's early sunday morning and the fact that hobbes would need some relief before 11pm.

but not completely untrue when compared to the days of coming home at 6:30am. seriously. it hurts just remembering those days. it physically hurts. no amount of coffee could mend an all-nighter like that. these days, i would have to take at least half of week's vacation just to recooperate.

anyway - while we're missing doug this weekend, we've been doing what we can.

yesterday it was kenpo in the morning, cleaned the bathrooms and the master bedroom, open house for chaeli's grade two of next school year (which i'm not even ready to think about so, in hindsight, wasn't really into the open house - as impressive as it was), took hobbes to a new dog park (which the volunteers covered with these big wood chips - note to volunteers: if you want your dogs to run around and play, pieces of wood just makes them want to lie down and chew on them) and then home until doug got home.

the party last night was fun. but i'm finding that because of how busy we are, i'm loosing concentration at around 9pm. it's not always like that but last night, it certainly was.

anyway, i think my favourite conversation last night went something like this:

me: "yeah, i really wish some of the other husbands were participating in movember."

friend: "i think it's a great awareness."

other friend: "yeah - it's sweet that he's doing it."

me: "but that's the point. if he was actually doing it for the awareness, i would totally understand. but he's only doing this because it gives him the excuse that he just can!"

it's the honest truth, i'm afraid.